To Be an Imitator

I wanted to show you something I wrote for a freelance writing opportunity for a newspaper. It has to do with love.

For The Love of Your Husband

Yes, my husband irritates me very much at times. He puts all his clothes into one load without sorting them. He leaves the lid to the toilet seat up and he doesn’t know which cabinets the towels go in. To this day, he doesn’t know the proper way to fold laundry! I could go on and on. However, I choose to focus on the good he does for me.

Our daughter recently moved out and he put motion sensor lights all around the house so I could see everything. This way I would feel safe while he is at work. He fixes everything in the house, makes sure the bills are paid on time, changes the A/C filters when it’s time and does all the car maintenance himself on our vehicles. Why would I possibly complain about this man?

In 2006, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I’ve had many complications due to the MS arise. He’s been there through it all…multiple doctor visits, etc. The vows quoted, “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health”, he takes seriously. He hasn’t gone anywhere.

On top of all this, I’ve had multiple surgeries and he has been by my side for each one. I’ve had a surgery each year since 2013. I just recently had a Bladder Augmentation. He cleaned my behind from diarrhea, slept on a sofa in the hospital room for a total of five nights and survived on canned tuna, guacamole and peanut butter he had brought from home. He also gave me showers. So, what can I say? What kind of man does this? I’ll tell you. It’s a good man and I don’t care how he folds laundry!

This is just a sample of how much my husband loves me. He does so much more. The question is, do I show him as much love? I don’t think so.

How much love do you show your spouse? Would you do for him or her what I described in the sample article I wrote above? What if your spouse suddenly had a bad car accident and became disabled or became very sick with some disease? Would you stay or would you leave? I ask the question, because I know of some people who lost their spouse after being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

Think about the vows you repeated at your wedding…”for better or worse, in sickness and in health til death do us part”.   Don’t you take those vows seriously? You should. God does. Marriage is a covenant before God. Marriage is sacred to God.

Covenant means to promise, to agree to do or not to do certain things. When you repeat your vows to wed, you are repeating them before God, whether you are Christians or not. So many people now-a-days go into marriage with the attitude if it doesn’t work out, they’ll just get a divorce. This is wrong! This is NOT how God intended marriage to be!

My husband, Freddie and I

My husband, Freddie and I

My husband and I will be married 28 years on August 20. It has been a very hard road. There were even times we didn’t like one another. For one reason or another, we have stuck it through. We enjoy the best marriage we’ve ever had now. Can it be even better?  Yes.  Always.

Psalms 74:20 says

Have respect unto the covenant; For the dark places of the earth are full of the habitations of violence.

Shouldn’t you respect EVERY covenant you make, including marriage? You should stay true to your word. That is integrity. God is true to his word. How would you feel if God said if you believe in Christ and accept him in your heart that you would be saved then took it back because of something you did wrong that doesn’t please him?

There are correct ways to love like God. You are given the characteristics of godly love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Read that verse slowly. Read it over and over again until it is in your spirit.

My husband, Freddie and I

My husband, Freddie and I

The love you are used to giving is conditional. This is the way of the world, not of God. For instance, you may think, “If he/she shows me love, I will do so in return.” You don’t love as God instructs, because you are afraid. You are afraid of rejection. You can be afraid of being taken advantage of. God didn’t give you a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 says

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Perhaps you’re resentful toward your spouse for not loving you the way you think they should. This doesn’t matter to God. I’m not saying God doesn’t see or care about your pain. I mean you are to love your spouse God’s way, regardless of the situation. God commands you to love one another (John 13:34, 1 John 4:11, 1 John 3:11). Also, read the following:

John 15:12

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

John 15:17

“These things I command you, that you love one another.”

1 John 3:23

And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

Jesus said in John 13:35

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Love is a big deal to God. God is love! You are to be an imitator of God. It says so in Ephesians 5:1

Be ye therefore imitators of God, as beloved children

Doesn’t your spouse qualify as loving “one another”? You look at the above verses and think of family, church members and friends, even ones you don’t like. However, do you think of your spouse when you read them?

The good news is you aren’t expected to love in a godly way by just sheer will power. God will help you. He doesn’t leave you or forsake you. Study the word “love” in your Bible. Pray and ask God to help you keep this great commandment.

Do I think my husband still needs work in the way he loves me? Yes, but so do I.

Let me apologize for my extended silence. I have been dealing with many medical issues due to the Multiple Sclerosis (MS) since the beginning of last November. I have also been blessed with three new grandchildren. Lydia, who was in NICU for two months last year, in which my daughter really needed me. I currently have a granddaughter in NICU and I have one healthy grandson! There may be spaces of times I don’t write as I may be dealing with medical problems that may arise or family situations. I have not abandoned my blog or my readers! Thank you for your patience.

Lydia, my angel!

Lydia, my angel!

Alice, my ladybug

Alice, my ladybug



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4 comments on “To Be an Imitator
  1. Eva says:

    Tammee, what a great way to honor Freddie and the covenant between the two of you and the Lord! It takes a whole lot of spiritual growth to recognize where our own faults are and where we ourselves need improvement and then actually apply it to our lives. Blessings to you and him both!


  2. Phoenicia says:

    Thank you for sharing your battles with us. Your husband sure sounds like a “good un”.

    Yes, marriage is for the long term. It is not always about what is convenient for us. Love in the bible touches on long suffering. My husband is very hands-on with the children and I appreciate him for this.


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